[rant] Be "all in" or don't bother

This is not the portrait of a successful writer. 

Listen, I'm not saying that it's right that writers have to spend equal amounts of time marketing their work as they do writing it. But if I hear one more writer tell me "I don't have the time for that," while complaining that no one will publish them because they don't have a platform, even though they proclaim a bazillion credits and decades of expertise behind them, I think I might just hang up on them.

Yes, hang up.

I got a call from someone the other day who was looking for an agent. (Which I'm not and never have been.) 

Dear writer:

Mistake number one: Don't call an agent outright. Or anybody else, for that matter, unless you have more than a passing in-real-life acquaintance with them. 

Mistake number two: Check my website first. If you had gone to my website you would have seen right away that I retired my business more than a year ago and stopped taking clients almost two years ago. And you would have also figured out I wasn't an agent.

This writer, after finding out I wasn't her magic bullet, proceeded to wail and complain that she had physical issues that kept her from writing for more than an hour or two at a time. 

Dear writer:

Mistake number three: Even able-bodied people can't hope to squeeze in that much time between parenting and working and caring for aging parents, etc. EVERYBODY'S BUSY. I hate to seem so insensitive here, but my friend, the writer Jay Lake, has gone through, what, his fourth year of cancer treatment (chemo, etc.) while still being a single working dad and he's still just as productive as ever. If you really want something, you work around your obstacles. 

Then this writer complained that she didn't feel like she needed a platform, she had several decades of expertise to back up everything and putting together a book proposal was a waste of time.

Dear writer:

Mistake number four: You should never assume you can just write well and that's all you have to do. Books, regardless whether they are commercial or academic or niche-driven, are still things that require manufacturing, and manufacturing isn't free. Book publishers and sellers and distributors also take a cut. For a book to pay off, you and your subject matter need some sort of pre-publication proving ground, which is what a book proposal is: a sales tool. If you can sell your idea to a publisher, then that means they believe they can sell your book to readers. If all you have is a manuscript, that's all they have to go on. There are thousands of writers willing to go the extra step. You really can't expect to compete with them unless you play the same game, can you?

Mistake number five: If you are that big an expert, then putting together a book proposal on a subject you know as closely as the back of your hand should be a cinch. Get to work!

This writer then went on to talk about all the Big Names she knew in publishing.

Dear writer: 

Mistake number six: You are not going to know more about your industry that someone working the ropes 24-7. Name dropping doesn't make up for the hard work of putting together a platform or a proposal.

I tried in every possible and polite way to tell this writer I was not going to be able to help her and offered her the link to my referral page so that she might be able to find someone more appropriate to her needs. She knocked down every person whose name I brought up.

Dear writer:

Mistake number seven: If you're not a published writer, you don't have any business cutting down those editors out there who could help you attain that goal. Editors DO know many many things that writers don't. 

Mistake number eight: Social skills are tantamount here; if you get the feeling the person on the other end of the line is trying to close the conversation, take a clue. 

When I suggested that this writer might be better off choosing the self-publishing route, she said she couldn't because of her physical limitations and because she didn't have the time to learn how to do that.

Dear writer:

Mistake number nine: If you don't know how to do something, find out! Or hire someone, or meet with a group of like-minded writers and help each other out. If you can't do something because of some limitation, then surely you are used to asking for help at this point? If you aren't willing to ask for help, then you really can't expect to make any forward progress otherwise, can you?

Then the writer began to ask me questions about my background.

Dear writer:

Mistake number ten: Don't waste my time, I already told you I couldn't help you and offered you some other options. There I was, in my robe on the couch recuperating from a bad case of gastroenteritis that put me in the hospital. I had no business even being on the phone. And you didn't even ask if it was a good time for me to talk. Yet I listened, I was kind and you still took away time I will never get back. 

That was MY mistake.

The title of this post says it all. "Be ALL IN or don't bother." It's the state of the union these days. Either you really want to be a published writer with a real career or you really don't. If you really want it, then you will find a way. If it all sounds like too much hassle, then find yourself another career and write for yourself as a hobby. It's not that I wish to dissuade people from their dreams, but publishing has undergone huge disruption over the last decade and there's really no end in sight regarding these changes. Those who are willing to learn, to make mistakes, to put in the time, to make it work: you'll do fine. But those who think they know it all, aren't willing to try new things, don't feel the need to follow the rules or have the work ethic really can't hope to get beyond a manuscript tucked inside a drawer, never to be seen. 

Rant is concluded.